A Royal Pain

[MadHatter :D]

*has awoken**running in circles until real Haven posts it*

[stargazer97]

*types furiously.*

[MadHatter :D]

*running in circles*

[stargazer97]

*almost done!*

[MadHatter :D]

*about to pass out again! XD*

[stargazer97]

"Will have it posted tomorow afternoon, was cut short by brother's cute friend coming over....*

[MadHatter :D]

*laughing*Cute friend, huh?

[stargazer97]

*smiles* Totally. His name's Issac

[stargazer97]

Chapter Two

M Donder and M Creanga went on talking and my
mother went on sniffling. I only heard about half of
what they said, partly because I was in shock, and
partly because I was already sorting out the impli-
cations of all this in my mind.
The two royal emissaries were trying to persade
me to leave my parents, give up my normal life,
and take on a whole new identity as Princess
Florinda XIV of Saxony Coburn.
Of coarse it was impossible. I'm not princess
material. I don't look anything like the beautiful
princesses in the fairy tales I used to love. I've got
the blond hair and the blue eyes, but I'm no raving
beauty.


I'm a reasonably pleasant-looking, average
American teenager.
Besides, the whole idea was so scary.
How could I leave my family, leave Kansas, leave
my country, my friends? How could I adapt to a
different culture, a backwards little country
only accsessible by goat cart? They probably
don't even have cable TV.
They expected me to live in a palace and be
the princess of this place? I didn't even know what
language they spoke. How would I go to school if
I couldn't speak the language? And what about
veterinary school?
Besides, I had all those finals next week.
"....adoptive parents are welcome to accompany
you," M Blitzen was saying. "We realize this is
quite a shock, Your Highness, and of coarse, Her
Most Serene Highness, you mother, wishes to make
your transition as comfortable as possible under
the circumstances."
That, at least, was comforting. When Her Most Serene Highness, my mother, was unreasonable
about something, I could always go to my mother,
the commoner, and complain.
"You know perfectly well we can't uproot our-
selves like that." my father said angrily. "I'm sure
you've done plenty of research on us. Lynn and I
have jobs. We're not royalty, and we need the
money. We have a son-"
"Hi. What's going on?" My eleven year old brother
Teddy walked into the room right on cue and stared
at the two strange men in front of the fireplace.
""You talking about me?"

"They're taling about me." I said. "I'm Princess
Florinda XIV of Saxony Coburn."
"And I'm king Zaxor of Mars." Teddy said. "The
king is hungry. The kind needs a peanut butter fix."
The king went into the kitchen.
My father stood up, his face tight with anger. "I
think this has gone far enough. Abby is fifteen years
old, she's a United States citizen, and if you take
her against her will you'll be guilty of kidnapping -
not to mention an act of aggression that could lead
to war."
"Mr Addams, please."
Gee. Think of that. A war between America and
Saxony Coburn over me. Just like Helen of Troy. I
didn't imagine Saxony Coburn had any nuclear
weapons, so I figured it would be a pretty minor
skirmish with hardly any casualties exept maybe
a couple of goats.
"Mr. Addams, the princess is not a United States
citizen, she is a citizen of Saxony Coburn. And in
Saxony Coburn, she is not a minor."
My mother faced M. Creanga as if she were trying
to stare him down. "We have her birth certificate."
she said.
"And we have evidence it is the wrong birth
certificate." he replied. "Your State Department
agrees."
"You've been to the state department?" she de-
manded. "And they said you could take out daugh-
ter?"
"I'm calling our congressman." my father an-
nounced. "This is outrageous."
Suddenly I felt intrigued with the whole
nutty situation. All these people fight over me
made me feel awfully importent. Sure, my parents
loved me, but here was an entire country - even if
if wa sonly twenty two square miles - clamoring
for me to return to my homeland and lead them.
Everbody was standing arounf the fireplace,
bickering, and I was sitting alone, on the couch,
sort of as if I were on a throne, and I the first
tantalizing sense of what it would be like to be a
Most Serene Highness.
i smiled, most serenely, at my parents and my
subjects.
"Maybe," I mused. "We can work something out."
My parents stared as if they didn't know what had
gotten into me. That made three of us. All I knew
was that these guys were making me an offer I
might not be able to refuse - at least, not without
thinking it over.
To be a princess, with my own palace, to be
famous and loved by my subjects, to get everything
I wanted with a wave of my royal hand - I
could really live all the fairy-tale dreams of my
childhood.
I didn't know if I'd stay there happily ever after,
but I could try it out for a year, and then if i didn't
like being princess, I'd abdictate.
I stood up regally. "Shall we go into the kitchen?"
Teddy was eating a peanut butter sandwitch and
watching a rerun of Leave it to Beaver on the little
TV. "Hey, Princess, your crown is tilted."
I ignored him and turned to my parents. They
looked absoluty stricken.
"Listen," I began. "I know it's all crazy, and I
know that you can't come with me and I'll miss you,
but a part of me really wants to do this."
"Half an hour ago you said-"
"Daddy, I was in shock. I really haven't had a
chance to think about it, but I'm starting to. I'm
asking myself, How could I pass up an experiance
like this? I mean, could you?"
"Easily," he retorted "If I had to leave my family
forever --"
"Who said anything about forever? Look, we have
exchange students for Japan and Nigeria in school.
If I had the chance to be an exchange student in
Nigeria or someplace, you wouldn't stop me. You'd
probably say it was the chance of a lifetime."
"But Abbey," my mother said. "This is for a lifetime.
It's not like being an exchange student at all."
"Mom, if I don't like it I can always abdictate.
They can't stop me from giving up the throne. I
mean, I'll be the princess. They can't stop me from
anything, exept maybe filching the crown jewls
when I exile myself back to America."
Teddy had turned the sound way down on the
TV. He didn't stop eating, but he was chewing very
slowly.
"I know I'll miss you both something awful." I
tilted my head in Teddy's direction. "I might even
miss him. But I can call you every week, and you
can come visit on vacations, or maybe they'll let
me come visit you here, and if I can't hack it, I'll
just step down. Let's at least think about it some
more before we give them a definate answer."
My parents exchanged another one of those looks.
I wondered if they were dissapoineted in me. Maybe
they thought I didn't love them enought to stay in
Kansas and just be their daughter, average America
Abbey, veterinarian-to-be. I hoped my mother wouldn't
clutch me to her bosom and sob, "Where have we
failed?"
But that's not my mother's style.
"You're asking us to give you up," she said quietly.
"But you'd have to give me up when I went to
college."
"It's not the same thing." my father said. "What
if you decide you like ebing royalty? What if you
decide to stay there for the rest of your life?"
Teddy put down his sandwitch. "She's royalty?"
"I told you. I'm Princess Florinda XIV of Saxony
Coburn. those men in the living room want to take
me back to my throne."
"This isn't a joke? And you're all in on it exept
me?"
My father shook his head.
Teddy gaped. "You're going?"
"I haven't really decided for sure yet."
He stared at the three of us. "Well," he said.
finally, "you'll make a good princess."
"Thank you." I said.
"You're sure bossy enough."

Somehow I really had made up my mind by then
to go to Saxony Coburn, but we talked for almost
two hours after the emissaries left. I think my parents
wanted mostly to be sure that I knew what I was
doing, and try to accept the reality of the
situation, which wasn't easy for any of us.
It had been harder for them them for me, I
realized, because I was getting more and more
exited about the idea, and the more exited I got,
the more depressed they looked.
I knew thatt if I wanted to go and be a princess,
they couldn't stop me. The U.S goverment sided
with Saxony Coburn, so they wouldn't do anything
to prevent it. I was of age according to the laws of
Saxony Coburn, so, short of locking me in my room,
there was no way to keep me here in Kansas.
But I didn't say any of these things. Even if they
weren't my "real" parents --and that was the hard-
est thing of all for me to belive -- I didn't want to
pull royal rank on them.
However, I got a severe jolt when they told me
I'd have to leave on Sunday.
"This Sunday? You mean, the day after tomorrow?"
I wouldn't have time to pack, to say good-bye to
my friends, to make a farewell tour of Middleton,
to hold onto my mothe rand father before I had to
let them go.
I got this sudden flash of how much I woud miss
everything I was leaving. A dull, hollow ache formed
in the pit of my stomach. I was already homesick
and I haven't even left yet.
What would I do without Josh and Carol, my
closest friends? What would I do without my mother
and father? Who would I talk to? Who would I hug?
Who would hug me? Would I be allowed to go to
school and mingle with commoners, or would I
have to sit on a throne all day? The thought of a
year without friends, without dates, without my
family, was sobering enough to make me forget for
a moment all the exiting things that being a
princess meant.
I eyed Teddy, who was sitting on the piano bench.
"Hey," I said, "you want to come with me?"
I was only half joking.

"Carol?" I clutched the telephone reciever to me
ear so hard that my fingers hurt.
"Oh, hi, Ab. How many finals are you going to
flink? I have it figured, two for sure, and three if
they ask me anything about the Cival War that wasnt
in Gone with the Wind"
"Finals! I forgot all about them."
"You forgot about finals? You're putting me on."
"Carol, don't say 'You're putting me on' until you
hear why I forgot about them.
I told her why.
There was a dead silence at Carol's end of the
phone when I finished the story.
Then, "Abbey?"
"Yeah?"
"Now can I say it?"
I sighed. "Go ahead."
"You're putting me on."

"Josh? You have to come over."
"Now? You know I can't. I'm up to my neck in
inert gases. In fact, I may be over my head. Choke,
choke."
"Josh." I said, "this is more important them inert
gases. This is more importent than finals."
"Hey, that car wasn't a hearse, was it?" he asked.
"No, nobody died. We're all alive."
"Thank God. In that case, I'll see you Monday."
"No," I said softly, "you won't see me Monday.
That's just it."
"What are you talking about?
"Josh," I began, "you're not going to believe
this....."

[MadHatter :D]

*SQUEAL!!!!* YAAAY!

[stargazer97]

*laughs* ^^

[MadHatter :D]

hehehehehehehehehehehhehee.....more.

[stargazer97]

Right away, I'm working on it.

[MadHatter :D]

MOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMORE!!

[stargazer97]

........*nods, but has to go to bed and will work on it tomorrow*